A Miracle for Christmas
by Demon's Requiem
Summary: Once upon a time, they were friends - best friends. Thirteen years and a broken promise later, all Naruto wants is a miracle for Christmas. Christmas fic, SasuNaru.


**A/N: **Welcome to my Christmas fic! Whoot whoot. This is SasuNaru, just so you're warned. And it's kinda long and there's kinda maybe some angst even though it gets happy at the end... Well I wanted to write this rawr. If you're confused about the format, I explain it at the end (like the 'Dear Santa' stuff).

Um I really don't know what else to say. I hope everyone likes it and yeah I'll let you read now. :)

* * *

A Miracle for Christmas

* * *

_Dear Santa…_

* * *

Once upon a time, in the snowy distant land of children's fantasies, two boys were friends. Best friends, inseparable by parents or teachers or even fate itself—or so it seemed. So they swore.

They did everything together. One would have thought they were twins had they not seen their faces: one boy more luminous than the sun, one paler than the moon. They appeared to be polar opposites, yet they proclaimed themselves best friends. Weren't opposites better suited to be enemies, rivals, people asked? Yet the boys only smiled mysteriously with an age far beyond their youth, and answered, "We're different."

Different they were. Not only did they look completely different, their lifestyles—their families—were impossibly dissimilar. The sun had an equally warm family, full of smiles and affectionate hugs, grades brushed aside for love and friendship. The moon had a chilly family; it wasn't that they didn't love him, because they did. They just had a peculiar way of showing that love, and grades couldn't have been more important to them.

Yet they remained friends despite all the odds. They laughed and played like all the other boys, whispering to each other during recess and passing notes in class, goofing off and pulling pranks.

They were _normal._

They were _together._

It was a forever kind of friendship—

—Or, to be more exact, it was supposed to be.

One day, the sun received horrifying news. News that made him scream _'I hate you!' _to his mother and father, something he never ever _ever _did. News that made him scream into his pillow with frustration and pound his little fists futilely into the bedspread. News that made tears well into his eyes, even though he didn't know why.

The news made him sneak out that night and run all the way to the moon's, illuminating the darkness with his sunshine-yellow hair, even though his blue-as-the-sky-eyes were dim and clouded with storms. The moon was asleep, but woke readily when the sun appeared at his window.

At first the moon smiled and nudged his friend, thinking it was all a game. Nothing more, nothing less. (_Normal._) But it wasn't, it wasn't, the sun insisted. Not when his whole world had flipped upside down. Not when everything had changed like this—not when the entire Earth had tilted off axis.

The moon cried too when he found out the sun's terrible news. He was better at putting his pain into words than the sun—he knew what it was. It was because a hole had opened in his stomach, irreparable and gaping. He didn't know why either, but he knew _what _it was, so he told the sun and together they agreed to go raid the moon's fridge in an attempt to fill the hole. They snuck through the house half-heartedly. Usually they would be tiptoeing, pretending to be the ninjas they knew they had been in their past life, but today…everything was different.

Everything had changed.

No amount of ice cream could fill the hole in their stomach, they realized. It only made them feel sick and caused unintended repercussions, as they discovered when the moon's older brother walked in and found them groaning, slumped over the table. He soon called the moon's parents and had the sun shipped off back home, much to the sun's dismay. He sniffled and refused to answer his parents when they asked him softly (kindly, like they were afraid of breaking him) not to do that again—without their permission, that was. He turned his face away and ran up the stairs, ignoring his parents. He wouldn't forgive them. It was all their fault—all their fault that he was going to be leaving the moon in a week.

The week passed altogether too quickly. Before they knew it, the date was upon them, and the forced move happened quickly and painfully. The sun pressed his face to the car window, watching as the moon grew smaller and smaller as they drove away. The moon's face was drawn and somber, looking much more like an adult than a seven-year-old.

The sun decided he didn't like that look on his best friend's face (because of course they would remain best friends, no matter where the sun went) but there was nothing he could do about it. The moon was already gone.

He bit his lip and curled up in his seat, hiding his face in his arms—hiding his tears behind his hands. He vowed it was going to be the last time he cried, because crying was for weaklings and the moon and the sun were anything but weaklings. They were best friends forever and ever and no _move _was going to change that. He had promised he would go home every weekend to see the moon and they would talk through mail and keep each other updated on everything.

They wouldn't be separated so easily, he promised.

It was only thirteen years later (_thirteen years and a promise not kept_) that he realized there was never a hole in his stomach. No, it had never been in his stomach—it had been a hole in his heart.

And it had never once been filled.

* * *

_All I want…is a miracle for Christmas._

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto groaned and stretched, wincing as audible cracks split the air as he popped his back. He was sore from sitting in the same place too long, and his hands were aching. He stood shakily from his desk, grabbing the cup of lukewarm coffee that had been sitting next to his laptop. It was dissatisfying to say the least, and he wondered absently if he could get Sakura to make him some hot chocolate and bring it over in half an hour.

His thoughts were interrupted when his roommate burst through the door, screaming. Inuzuka Kiba was a loud sort of guy, but this was a little extreme even for him.

"What's the matter?" Naruto asked, a little worried. Had Akamaru died or something? No, he would be positively broken if that happened. Right now, Kiba looked like the happiest guy on the planet. So…maybe his sister died? He always said he hated her.

"My sister didn't die," Kiba scoffed, throwing himself onto his bed. Naruto blinked at him, startled. "No, I didn't read your thoughts or anything, idiot. You were talking out loud to yourself. You need to break that habit, you know. When you finally _get a girlfriend_, they're gonna think you're insane or something, man."

"You know I don't like girls—"

"Wait! That reminded me!" Kiba vaulted off the bed, running right up to Naruto and shaking him. "Guess what I did just now! Guess what I did! _I got Hinata's number! That's what I did!_"

Naruto stared at him for a second before breaking into a wide grin. "Congrats, man! I knew you could do it! Though, truth be told, I was kind of expecting a…how do I say it… I was expecting a bigger accomplishment, you know. Something like asking her out. Not just getting her number…"

"Dude! You know how important Hinata is to me! I need to plan out every step carefully and cautiously, proceeding only when the time is right, so I don't get my balls ripped out by her demon cousin and so I can ensure she'll be super in love with me!" Kiba struck a pose, a lovelorn look decorating his face.

Naruto burst out laughing. "I—you—pfft!" He doubled over and collapsed on the floor. "Do you…know just how much…you sounded like… _Lee _just then?!" he gasped through winded breaths of laughter.

A swift kick to his abdomen stopped his laughter. "Shut up, Uzumaki!"

"You wanna go, Inuzuka? You wanna go?"

"Bring it on!"

As they descended in yet another 'friendly scuffle', in a corner of his mind Naruto couldn't help but think that Kiba was lucky. Luckier than him, anyway.

At least he didn't have a damned hole in his heart.

* * *

_All I want is for this pain to go away. _

* * *

At the end of his second year in college, Naruto figured out what the pain was.

It was sheer, undeniable loneliness.

He felt it stab his chest sharply as he watched parents flood in to greet their children and take them home. It wasn't a new feeling, though, as sad as it was. It had been present in his heart ever since that one fateful day; the fateful day that the sun left the moon.

Naruto laughed bitterly to himself. The sun? Yeah, right. As if Naruto was sunny. Maybe he appeared to be on the outside, but…on the inside, his soul was black and stained. Not evil, but stained with the horrors he had seen in life, that he had experienced. _Naruto _was stained. He was imperfect.

Maybe that was the core of why he had moved back to his hometown, Konoha, to attend college. True, the school he had chosen specialized in medicine, which was part of the reason why he had returned at all—

_But you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't hope you'd meet Sasuke again._

He thought about his childhood friend infrequently. It was just too painful to think about him—to wonder why he had never replied to any of Naruto's letters.

When Naruto had moved, he had sent letters every week detailing his new life without Sasuke. He hadn't been allowed to return to Konoha on the weekends, because their new house was too far away (_it would never be home_). Sasuke had never responded to his letters, not once. It got to the point where Naruto felt it was just better to forget his best friend and move on, even though the hole in his heart was never filled.

It was better to leave Sasuke than stay with his memories, and that was the most painful thing of all.

So why, he asked, why was he doing this to himself?

Why was he giving himself false hope?

* * *

_The pain from Sasuke, and the pain from my parents._

* * *

Naruto's parents had died five years ago, when he was fifteen.

He had been somewhat of a rebel back then. He skipped class often, never turned in homework, and was always yelling back at the teachers. It was a natural resentment, born from loneliness and the pain of being separated from the one thing that had made him whole.

Finally, as a last-ditch resort, his parents had shipped him off to a three-week-long camp during the middle of summer. Irritated and angry at having to leave (_again_), he had yelled at them for an hour straight before slamming his door with such a fury that it had shaken the whole house. When he left the next morning, it was to the worried faces of his parents.

Little did he know that that was the last time he would ever see them—alive, that was—again.

Naruto discovered the camp he had been sent to was, in actuality, not that bad. It was a nature camp, and since Naruto had always been an outdoorsy kind of guy, it was pretty fun. He made some friends (like Lee, Sakura, and Kiba) and had enjoyed himself immensely. All grudges against his parents were forgiven, and it was with a cheerful, improved attitude that he returned to his parents—only to find that they weren't there.

He searched the whole house, but there was nothing. No notes, no signs of a forced entry or a secret murder or a double suicide. No signs of running away. Just…nothing. Like they had vanished completely.

Naruto had almost worried himself into a frenzy when the knocks sounded on his door. Three firm taps, somehow carrying louder through the empty house than should've been possible. Naruto raced to it, slipping in his socks on the wooden floor. _Please be my parents, please please please! _he had begged.

It wasn't.

It was the police.

They showed their IDs and asked if they could come in (_forced themselves in_). Naruto sat in dull, numbed silence as they explained two weeks ago, his parents had been hospitalized with what had seemed like an extreme cold, at first, only to develop into the most recent strain of deadly flu that had been floating around their neighborhood. Naruto had never gotten sick—he was naturally resistant to the flu, in fact. But his parents hadn't been so lucky. First his mother had collapsed, so his father brought her to the hospital. After she had been admitted, he was found gasping on the floor, unable to breathe. Namikaze Minato died first, strangely enough, next to his mother. Uzumaki Kushina died minutes later. Both were found in the morning with their hands linked and a peaceful smile on their face.

Naruto sat trembling on the couch as the policemen imparted their heavy news with sober faces. He didn't know what to think—too many thoughts were racing through his head, but the most prominent of them all were the ones screaming, _'Why wasn't I nicer to them when I left? That was my last chance…and I blew it.'_

'_What if?'_

Those last two words had never left his mind. Not even when the policemen had solemnly informed him that he had two days to pack up his things and go to the orphanage, since his parents had no siblings or parents for him to stay with. The three weeks of camp had already fled his mind; brief glimpses of a paradise were nothing in comparison to the lives of the ones that had raised him.

'_I never wanted this.'_

At the orphanage, he became even more withdrawn. He began to not attend school. He started becoming involved with thugs, picking street fights. Naruto had almost descended beyond the point of return when one day, a light reentered his world.

Its name was Umino Iruka.

He was a teacher at school Naruto frequently talked to. In fact, he almost considered Iruka to be a friend; he knew almost everything about Naruto's childhood. After learning that Naruto was now an orphan, he had searched relentlessly through all the nearby orphanages in the hope of finding him. _'Why did you do this for me?' _he asked.

'_Because you were like me,' _was the simple answer he received.

He stayed with Iruka after that, focusing on medicine with the dream of being a doctor. The _number one _doctor, he would often boast to Iruka. He would become the best doctor in the world so no one would ever die again! So nobody would ever have to lose someone else dear to them. So he could make up for the lives he had been unable to save. Perhaps it was a foolish dream, a child's dream, but Naruto pursued it with his mind and his heart. It was a goal, just like another (unspoken) goal of his was to meet Sasuke again one of these days. Those two goals built up in his mind over the next five years, until it all culminated on one snowy Christmas Eve.

* * *

_I don't want anything else._

* * *

Sakura hosted a Christmas Eve party in her dorm room. It was crowded, but only their circle of friends was invited, so it was okay. Everything was perfect.

The party had been going for a while now. They could hear other screams and shouts coming from dorm rooms down the hall—other Christmas Eve parties.

"I wish we had booze or something," complained Kiba. He was currently flopped listlessly on his stomach, occupying an entire bed. Hinata was perched on the opposite bed, and when he peered up to glance at her, she flushed bright red. Naruto snickered inwardly to himself; even though he didn't like girls (_or, to be more exact, guys—Naruto didn't like anyone, he told himself, did he?_) he could read them exceptionally well. And Hinata was currently giving off the strongest 'I want you' vibes he had felt in a while.

Too bad it was dampened by the Nejinator next to her, keeping guard like a particularly ferocious guard dog.

Sai chose that moment to respond. "Excuse me, but what is 'booze'? I do not believe I know that word."

Ino scoffed, spinning in her desk chair. "Of course you wouldn't, Sai. Booze is a slang word for alcohol, moron."

"I see," Sai mumbled, seeming to be lost in thought. Suddenly, his face brightened. "I see! So because Inuzuka is such a brain-addled idiot, he needs _booze _to enlighten him so he may advance upon Hinata! Otherwise he would find no other entertainment in this room—"

"Shut. Up," Kiba hissed in Sai's ear, having gotten from the bed to Sai in a remarkable three seconds. "You say one more word and Neji will have my head. You got it?"

"Of course. You are scared of—"

"Sai! We're having a talk outside!" Kiba hollered, dragging Sai out from behind him. As soon as the door closed, the room burst into laughter (with the exception of a few individuals, such as Shino and Shikamaru and Neji, who were all too stoic to laugh). Even Hinata was giggling shyly.

"Ah, Sai. He never fails to bring a tear to my eye," Sakura sighed. She had taken Kiba's spot on the bed. "Kiba was kind of right though. It's a little boring." She pouted.

"Why don't we do this?" Tenten suggested from her spot on the floor. "Since it's Christmas Eve, everyone tell one thing that's on their Christmas list!" Everyone agreed. "Because it was my idea, I'll start. I want a new samurai sword to add to my collection!"

_Of course_, Naruto thought. _Nothing less from Tenten. _Next it went to Lee, who proudly proclaimed he needed no gifts and only wanted to finish a training regime of three thousand pushups and two thousand handstands for thirty minutes each. Neji said he wanted a bird cage (_only a bird cage? Why?!_). Hinata blushed and stammered so much that finally Shino went, but everyone could guess what she was thinking in her mind anyway. Shino wanted a new species of caterpillar to add to _his _collection; Kiba rejoined in time to say he wanted dogs to be allowed in the dorm. Sai wished for a new sketchbook, and Ino asked for a book on arranging flowers. Chouji mumbled something about food. Shikamaru took his time answering, but finally decided on a chess set to replace his old one.

Once it was Sakura's turn, she smiled goofily. "I don't care if you think I'm insane, but I want true love for Christmas."

"True love? As if someone could love that huge forehead of yours, Forehead!"

"Yeah right! _Pig!_"

"Guys, stop," Shikamaru sighed lazily. He then turned a shrewd eye to Naruto. "So, what do you want, Uzumaki?" His eyes seemed to pierce deep into Naruto, and he swallowed.

_What do I want?_

_Even I don't know._

_(Or do I)_

"I want…" He hesitated, unsure of what would come from his mouth. "I—"

"Yes? Come on, spit it out! We won't laugh."

"I want a miracle for Christmas."

Even though he had been deadly serious, they all laughed, and he went along with it. He didn't notice that Shikamaru was the only one not laughing, choosing instead to stare at Naruto with calculating eyes.

But it was true. Deep down, all Naruto wanted was a miracle to happen.

* * *

_But even though I know I'll never see him again, I really want another chance to._

* * *

Shikamaru approached Naruto on Christmas.

"Hm? What did you want, Shikamaru?" Naruto mumbled around his granola bar, focused on his laptop. Their school was the sort of school that let you stay if you wanted to during the break, provided you didn't break anything or drink too much alcohol.

Shikamaru was silent for so long that Naruto finally looked up, swallowing the last of his granola bar. He finally spoke: "You know of Professor Kakashi, right?"

"Of course I do." He was only the most famous professor on campus, after all. Renowned for his too-early-gray hair and daunting eye patch (which was rumored to be covering a blood red eye), he taught most of the courses Naruto was taking; unfortunately, Naruto hadn't really talked to him all that much.

"Well rumor—no, _fact _is he's hosting a Christmas party. Today, in fact. He invited me and told me to invite one other guest, so…do you wanna come with me?"

Naruto was speechless. "W—what, _me_? Why would you pick me? What about, I dunno, Neji or something? You're both prodigies—"

"Let me rephrase this," Shikamaru sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Someone else, whose opinion Kakashi holds dear, told Kakashi that he would like to see someone with the last name Uzumaki attend the party. Kakashi relayed that information to me, and I'm telling you. So basically you're going to show up whether you like it or not, because Kakashi made it clear that he would like to follow 'that person's' orders specifically. Understand?"

"I…" Naruto was still lost.

"Be there tonight at seven, in the coffee lounge." With that, Shikamaru disappeared out the door and vanished.

Utterly and completely confused at how such a turn of events could have escalated so quickly, Naruto stared at his screen for a couple seconds before banging his head down on the keyboard.

"Why do I never know what's going on?!"

* * *

_Does that make me selfish?_

* * *

Naruto quickly scanned through all the possible confidants Kakashi would trust, but unfortunately no one came to mind. Possibly Professor Gai, but…somehow, he doubted it. Professor Asuma? President Tsunade? His gut feeling was no for all of them.

The thought that had been lurking in the back of his mind since Shikamaru had left snuck to the forefront, whispering sinfully in his ear. Just once, he thought, just once he would listen. Just once, he would give in.

'_Maybe it's Sasuke,' _his thought hissed. _'Maybe Sasuke wants to see you…'_

It was unlikely, though. Why would Kakashi hold a third year student's opinion dear? Unless they were related somehow, which he also doubted. So all in all, it couldn't be Sasuke. He had crushed his own hopes; wasn't that just depressing? Naruto blinked blearily and yawned. He was a little tired, after all the ruckus from yesterday, even though it was only one in the afternoon. Maybe he could take a little nap before the mandatory party (not attending would probably cause Kakashi to fail him) and…take a little break from thinking about Sasuke.

* * *

_Maybe it does, but I don't care._

* * *

In his dreams, he didn't have to curb his thoughts. He _couldn't _curb his thoughts. Sasuke reigned freely in his dreams, and his hold was unrelenting.

Naruto gladly relinquished control.

He woke with the ache more pronounced in his chest. The ceiling slowly swam into view and the ache faded, leaving nothing but a blossoming bruise behind. The bruise on his soul.

Heaving a sigh, he checked the time. Immediately alarm flashed across his mind—it was already six forty-five, and the coffee lounge was at least fifteen minutes away!

_Crap crap crap_, he chanted as he quickly threw some slacks on and a button-up. Hopefully it wasn't a super-fancy party, otherwise he was screwed. He tugged on his familiar Nikes and ran out the door, barely remembering to stuff his key in his pocket. His shoes beat a familiar tattoo against the ground, his breaths steady and strong. At least he was still in shape.

He got to the lounge with eight minutes to spare. (_A new record!_) While straightening his rumpled shirt and distractedly finger-combing his hair, Naruto surveyed the building. He had never been here before, preferring libraries over coffee lounges and studying over socializing, unlike his friends. Perhaps he wouldn't have always turned out like that, but since the Move, everything had been different.

"Are you going to go in or keep on standing there?" a cool, indifferent voice asked from behind him. Naruto started as the owner of the voice brushed beside him, heading up the steps to the front doors. He felt a jolt of _something _rush through him as he stared at the man's pale, pale hands and dark, silky hair tied back in a simple band, as if he'd seen him before. _What's this feeling?_

Instinctively he began chasing after the man, rushing up to the doors and pushing his way through. He scanned the lobby of the coffee lounge impatiently, but the man had already disappeared. Feeling a wave of disappointment crash through him (_but why why why_), he began wandering around through the crowds in the hope that he might accidentally run into the mysterious man again.

A hand clamped over his wrist and Naruto turned excitedly, only to frown half-heartedly when he saw Shikamaru. "It's you."

"I see you got here okay," Shikamaru said as a way of greeting, ignoring the rather-rude 'it's you' Naruto had begun with. "Kakashi wants you to go to the 'VIP' lounge. It's not really a VIP lounge, but he has some guests he would like you to meet in there."

"Why does he want me to go?" Naruto demanded, frustration boiling over inside him. He didn't want to be some damn pawn piece for Kakashi! "Why not you? You're so much smarter than me! Why am I even here?! Is there some secret plan behind all this for the person 'whose opinion Kakashi holds dear'?"

"No—he—"

Another hand settled heavily on Naruto's shoulder, and a voice spoke behind him. "That's enough, Shikamaru. I'll handle this."

With a hesitant nod, Shikamaru stepped back and melded seamlessly with the crowd again after shooting Naruto one last worried look.

"So? What's going on?" Naruto didn't care if he was being rude to a professor. He was the one being manipulated, anyway! He should get some information!

Kakashi smiled his legendary one-eye smile. "It's a rather long story that I feel you would be better off not hearing. Long story short, though, Shikamaru was right. I do have a guest I would like you to meet, and it _is_ for that person 'whose opinion I hold dear'. Let's just say I have a sort of, er, favor to them. A debt that I'm repaying now. And truthfully, the person who I owe a favor to is doing a favor for another person, so it's kind of a roundabout cycle at this point. I know them personally and I know they want no harm from you, and from what I've seen from you in class… you're lonely, aren't you." It wasn't a question. "I can see it in your eyes. Please trust me when I say that the end result of this will be for the best. Just trust me."

_I'm lonely?_

…_I guess I am._

"H-how? What if you're lying?" Naruto said defiantly, even though most of him had already given in. There was something truthful in Kakashi's words, and Naruto's gut instinct was telling him to listen.

"I don't lie about things that matter," was the simple but concise answer.

Finally, Naruto conceded, giving up. He nodded his head once, defeated. "I guess so."

"Now, now, don't look so gloomy. It's not like you're marching to your death or anything!" The professor laughed, ruffling his gray hair before turning abruptly and yanking Naruto along with the hand that was still on his shoulder. He led him to a door set unobtrusively in the back of the room, and motioned him through. "I'm not going to follow you," he said, "but there's a corridor beyond this door and another door at the end of the corridor. I'm pretty sure even you can figure it out, so… have fun!"

Without further ado, he shoved Naruto through the door and slammed it shut behind him. Naruto didn't even have time to process the last insult Kakashi had left him.

Scowling in displeasure, he turned to face front. His professor had been right in saying there was a corridor—it wasn't very long, and it was painted with a rather drab brown, hung with nondescript landscape paintings on either side. The door at the end was identical to the one he had just crossed.

Naruto wasn't sure just what he was expecting when he pushed open the other door, but it definitely wasn't a group of college kids. There was a clump of seniors huddled in the corner, and a spread of juniors (his age) spread along the couches placed in the center of the room. They appeared to be doing nothing more than chatting with each other and having fun. So what did this have to do with Naruto? Who was he supposed to be meeting? Surely not a _student_, right…?

His gaze flickered over the students in the middle as he took a step into the room—and froze.

* * *

_Sometimes, I wonder what he looks like now._

* * *

It couldn't be.

(_but it was_)

Sitting right across from him was someone with eyes ebony black and skin snow-white pale. His hair was the same color of his eyes, and stuck up in the back in a way that struck Naruto's heart painfully.

He looked so much like Sasuke that, for a second, Naruto was tempted to rub his eyes in case the mirage would disappear. There was no way it could be his childhood friend. For one, the likelihood of that happening was close to zero. For another, this man sitting before him had impassive, cold eyes, and even as he conversed with his fellow student next to him, his face remained emotionless.

_The Sasuke I knew was never like that._

Yet it matched Naruto's imagination perfectly, almost as if Sasuke had been taken from his mind and painted into reality. Feeling as if all the breath in his body had been punched out from him (_what a cruel, cruel surprise_) he half-turned, ready to run from the room and forget this whole afternoon had ever happened.

Then, the Sasuke-lookalike lifted his head and stared right into Naruto's eyes.

They were breathtakingly, piercingly…

Hollow.

* * *

_No…I wonder if he still remembers me._

* * *

Nothing flickered in those endless caverns. They were like black holes, sucking Naruto in until he was drowning in black. The second seemed to stretch on forever—until it was shattered in one loud shriek of '_Sasuke!_'

He gasped sharply as the connection was broken, feeling as if a bucket of ice water had been splashed over him. Sasuke (_so it was him what's going on I'm so confused_) jerked his head to the side in response to the call.

Naruto stood dumbstruck in the doorway, absolutely floored. The emptiness in his heart was spreading across his chest, eating away at his skin and ribs and slowly consuming him.

(_why_)

What broke him was the fact that there had been no flash of recognition—none at all—in Sasuke's black, black eyes.

(_black like his soul_)

* * *

_I would be so happy if he did._

* * *

Naruto turned on one heel and dashed out of the room, shoving past the door at the end of the corridor and entering the lobby. He pushed through the throngs of people, his goal the double doors which meant freedom. Escape.

_Forget._

He barely made it down the stairs that led up to the coffee lounge before he collapsed on the ground, feeling dizzy and nauseous and sick. His head spun, thoughts whirring too fast for his mind to keep up. There was no way it could be Sasuke. Not after so long, not after all that had happened.

There was no way the Sasuke in the coffee lounge was the Sasuke from his childhood.

He curled up in a ball, laughing brokenly. Cruel, cruel fate. Cruel, cruel irony. Cruel, cruel Sasuke.

"Hey. Are you alright?"

He jerked at the voice, lifting his eyes. It was the same voice from before, indifferent and cool. Only this time, he had a name to put to the face.

"What are you doing here, Itachi?" he asked lowly. No, what he really wanted to ask was, _What are you doing here, Sasuke? _But Itachi was Sasuke's brother, so it was a good enough trade.

"I'm here doing a favor," Itachi replied, hands in his pockets. He looked almost exactly the same as thirteen years ago, only taller and even more striking. "Only you're making it rather difficult to succeed."

"Why is everyone playing with me?" It wasn't really a question Naruto wanted an answer to; he just asked it for the sake of asking. This wasn't fair. It was Christmas! He shouldn't be going through this on _Christmas!_

"I know you're rather confused right now, Naruto. It is Sasuke in that room, if it clears anything up for you." Itachi paused, as if waiting for a response that wasn't coming. "I know things haven't been perfect between the two of you. Regardless, there's never been a time when you can't start over, has there? Everything can be fixed; it's just the amount of effort you put into it that really matters."

"Who are you kidding? He doesn't even _remember _me. How can I fix anything?!" Naruto jerked himself to his feet, glaring angrily at Itachi. "I'm not a miracle worker. I can't even get my own miracle to come true."

Itachi opened his mouth to speak again—when another voice cut in, smooth and monotone. "What's going on, Itachi?"

They both turned to face the newcomer, even though internally Naruto wanted to shrivel up and float away, knowing it was Sasuke despite the fact that this was the first time he'd heard his voice in thirteen years.

Briefly, he heard Itachi say something about 'having a party to attend' and step away, heading back up the steps. Naruto barely noticed. His eyes were stuck on Sasuke—an almost magnetic force drawing him in. Sasuke frowned slightly, flickering to Itachi before focusing back on Naruto.

_Remember me, _he pleaded silently in his head. _I don't care about anything else, but…please, remember me._

And euphoria soared in his heart when Sasuke asked, slowly, cautiously, almost as if in a dream—

"…Naruto?"

* * *

_I lie awake at night and think about what he's doing, or where he is, or what happened to his childhood._

* * *

"So… how's it been?" Naruto asked awkwardly as they walked down the street aimlessly. He didn't know how to act around Sasuke anymore, even though he was still overjoyed Sasuke had recognized him.

After his hesitant call of Naruto's name, they had confirmed that the other was, in fact, their childhood friend. In a daze, Naruto had suggested they take a walk and maybe catch up, or something like that. Sasuke had agreed, and here they were.

"Good." Sasuke shrugged, his answer curt. Naruto bit his lip as he looked away, caught in the uncomfortable silence. He didn't want Sasuke to leave him just because they couldn't carry a conversation anymore—but wasn't that how friendships broke apart? Because they were just too different? It was impossible to see his childhood Sasuke in this new one—too cold, too closed up. Something had changed him.

It was also evident in his clothes. Naruto couldn't quite remember what childhood-Sasuke had worn, but he was pretty sure it didn't go along the lines of ripped black jeans and a skintight shirt, hugging his skinny frame and adorned with chains. A wristband with spikes was around his wrist, and Naruto was pretty sure this was what they called punk. He assessed his own clothing with a new eye—somewhat worn sweater, sneakers, nice jeans, and pretty much a normal college student's average wear. Did he look different to Sasuke, then? He knew that when he was younger, he had often chosen to wear bright orange shirts and neon pants with goggles or what he liked to call 'his ninja headband'.

…Maybe he looked different too.

"You changed," Sasuke said abruptly, startling Naruto. Sasuke looked startled too, as if that hadn't meant to come out of his mouth.

A relieved (_why am I relieved?_) smile spread across his face. "You too. I didn't know you picked up the punk style."

"I didn't know you would end up so toned-down." A smirk tugged at the corner of Sasuke's lips.

"What happened to us?" Naruto whispered, eyes focused on the darkening sky. It was a question he honestly wanted to know the answer to.

"I don't know. I … don't know."

"Why didn't we stay friends? Why didn't you ever answer me? I stayed awake all those nights, wondering. It was painful, you know. I was lonely the whole time! I _missed _you, you bastard! And you never answered once." The words flooded out from Naruto, filling the void between them.

_What went wrong?_

Sasuke turned his head sharply, eyes dark and narrow. (_At least they have anger in them though, because any emotion is better than none._) "What do you mean, why didn't I ever answer you? I never got any of the letters _from _you! I thought you forgot me. You never came to visit either, so I naturally assumed you just had a better life in your new home and I was just another useless memory. Was I wrong?"

"I never considered that place my home! My home was always—" Naruto bit off the end of his sentence, feeling heat crawl up his neck. (_My home was always where you were._) "And I sent it! I did! Wasn't your address 1781 Phantom Street?"

Sasuke stared at him for so long that Naruto began squirming. "What?!"

"You—moron! Idiot!" Sasuke had an incredulous look in his eyes, like he was demanding, _Are you kidding me? _"Did you seriously forget my _house number_? It wasn't 1781! It was 1871! Of course. Of _course._"

Naruto blinked, the weight of Sasuke's words beginning to sink in. "No…"

"Yes."

And all of a sudden, he was laughing, falling onto Sasuke. "Oh my God… we were separated over something so stupid! I was so stupid! How—wow—"

"It's because of you!" The words were snapped but he could feel the smile Sasuke was suppressing, rumbling in his chest. It felt so good to know that he hadn't been purposefully abandoned; that maybe, they could start over.

* * *

_I want to know his dreams for the future._

* * *

"What did you come here for?"

They had migrated from the sidewalk to another smaller, quieter café. Sasuke had admitted that the coffee lounge had been too crowded for his tastes, and Naruto couldn't have agreed more.

Sasuke swirled his coffee around in its cup, seemingly lost in its brown depths. "I…don't really know."

"How do you not know?" Naruto exclaimed, shocked. "It's your third year, man! You have to have a major, right? You're supposed to have declared it by the end of your sophomore year!"

"I don't have a major, and before you blow up at me, it's because I had special strings pulled. Itachi's a professor here, which is how he knew Kakashi, and they're both in favor of President Tsunade. I was given till the end of this year to decide my major, but I still don't know what I'm going to do."

"Oh." Unsure of what to say to that, Naruto took a sip of his hot chocolate. It was strange how easily Sasuke and him had fallen back into the pattern of _'best friends'_, as if that awkward walk earlier and thirteen whole years had never happened. It was invigorating, somehow. "My major is Biochemical, since to be a doctor I don't have to take any specific course."

"You want to be a doctor?" Sasuke asked, a faint hint of surprise in his voice.

"Oh yeah, forgot you didn't know. Heh, it's kind of a long story." Naruto rubbed the back of his hair absently. "My parents died five years ago, a result of a virus. I wasn't there, but I was naturally resistant anyway." Bitterness crept onto his face. "Ever since then, I don't want to see anyone else suffer, so my goal is to become the best doctor in the world and save people from dying!"

"You know that that's impossible, right? To become the best doctor in the world?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

Naruto snorted. "It's not! It's my goal and I'm going to achieve it! Just watch me!"

"How do you have so much confidence in yourself?"Sasuke murmured, almost so quiet that Naruto hadn't caught it. His eyes were shadowed, arms folded across his chest. "How can you say that with such certainty, like you _know _you're going to make it no matter what?"

Naruto smiled sadly, even though he knew Sasuke wasn't looking at him. "I choose to believe in myself, because if I didn't believe myself, who would?"

Silence settled softly around them after his comment, each immersed in their own world. It was broken only when Sasuke finally spoke, and bridged the gap between them with his words.

"When I was thirteen, my parents died." Naruto opened his mouth, shocked, but Sasuke waved a hand at him. "Itachi was driving their car. It was a stormy night and Itachi was a little inebriated, but my parents were more so. They had gone to some fancy dinner party or whatever, and I was left at home because I had been _too young. _As a result of the alcohol and the storm, Itachi didn't see the car until it was too late. It hit the back of our car, and my parents were crushed—but Itachi survived. They died instantly, the police told me, but the worst part was the fact that Itachi had survived. My _brother_, the driver, and not my parents. I still haven't forgiven Itachi, even though he swore he gave up alcohol forever. I know I shouldn't hold this over him, since I can see the guilt in his eyes, but…what can I _do_ if I can't blame him? He—my parents…" Sasuke drew in a staggering breath, closing his eyes as if soothing himself. Naruto instinctively didn't speak, knowing that Sasuke had to get this off his chest.

"After my parents' death, I became…involved, so to speak, with some gangs. Nothing major, just minor street fighters who vandalized and mugged people. I guess this is where that style came from"—he motioned to his clothes—"but after one day, when I came home beaten up and sporting broken bones, Itachi dragged me out of it. I didn't go willingly, to say the least. I didn't want to spend time with Itachi, because in my mind fighting was better than staying with my own brother. I can't have imagined what he felt then." He chuckled hollowly. "Anyway, a couple years passed after that, and Itachi maintained a close eye on me. I didn't go into street fighting again, and here I am. College. And that's my life."

"I…I don't think you should blame Itachi for the crash," Naruto began hesitantly, unsure if Sasuke wanted his opinion or not. "I know you feel like you'll have nothing if you don't blame Itachi, because that's how I felt. I blamed the virus and I blamed my parents and I blamed myself. I realized though, after a while, that all the blaming was going to get me nowhere. I wasn't going to achieve anything in life by hatred and swearing vengeance on something that didn't exist; I had to go and get it on my own. So I promised to become a doctor.

"It's wasn't Itachi's fault, no matter what you think. He was only the driver, not the instigator. I know it's too much to think about now, and maybe I'm intruding too much since we technically did only re-meet an hour ago, but as your former best friend, I feel like I have the right to say this. Don't blame Itachi. Transfer it to another goal in your life, like me! Make it a drive. Become, like, a teacher or something. Teach kids not to drink and drive and to act responsibly. Do something about it." Naruto rambled on for a little, before slowly dying off.

Sasuke was sitting with his head bowed, hands clasped in his lap. Uncertainty welled inside Naruto. Had he crossed a line? Was Sasuke going to leave now? It was only advice, after all. Nobody should go down that path, because it was too easy to get lost in the brambles of revenge. Naruto would know.

He looked up eagerly when Sasuke spoke. "Maybe…maybe you're right. I don't know if I can stop, though."

Naruto grinned, and it was like the sun breaking through clouds.

"Try. Sometimes, all you can do is try."

* * *

_I want to know if I'm in them._

* * *

"Will you help me?"

"Help you with what?"

"Follow my dreams, like you're following yours."

"Of course I will! I'll do anything for you, Sasuke, because we're best friends."

"Best friends, huh?"

"Aren't we?"

"…Yeah. I guess we are."

* * *

_Do I love him?_

* * *

They left the café after closing time, wandering around outside and eventually finding a park. They sat on the swings, sharing stories and catching the other up on all the events they had missed. It was really like the gap had never existed—and the hole in their hearts were finally filled.

They were lying on their backs, watching the stars in the chilly December air, when Naruto asked, "Have you ever loved anyone?"

Sasuke was quiet for a long time.

"I mean, I haven't. It's really weird," Naruto babbled, "since I don't really like guys or girls. None of them particularly appeal to me. In fact the only one who really ever appealed to me was—"

It was a good thing Sasuke cut in right then, because Naruto was about to say _'you'_.

"I've loved someone before. I think I have, at least. I don't really know."

The words felt like someone had taken a serrated, rusty knife and plunged it into Naruto's heart, reopening the formerly closed wound. Sasuke had loved someone? Who? The thought twisted in his gut unpleasantly, and a feeling he could almost call Jealousy roared through him. "Who?" he blurted, before he could stop himself.

"Why do you care?" Sasuke's eyes were unreadable as Naruto suddenly launched himself up, straddling his hips. "What's it to you?"

"I don't know!" he growled, the truth ringing clear in his words. "I _don't know. _Just…tell me. Please." His hands clenched in Sasuke's shirt, breaths mingling in white clouds of air.

_Tell me before I go insane._

* * *

_Maybe._

* * *

"Why do you want to know?" Sasuke repeated again. "It shouldn't matter to you. Unless, you _like _me." His smirk was evident now. "Do you?"

"I—" Naruto's mouth opened and closed like a fish, and finally he vaulted off Sasuke and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He began walking away, shaking his head; he didn't know why, but the answer to that question scared him more than he wanted to admit.

Warm arms closed around him, and it was all he could do to not turn around.

"What would you say if I told you the only one I ever loved…was you?"

* * *

_Yes._

* * *

Naruto jerked in his arms. "You're lying."

"No. Have I ever lied to you?"

Naruto couldn't answer, something fast rising in his chest, hothot_hot. _Warmth bubbled through him, and in that one crystal clear instant—he knew that yes, he loved Sasuke. That yes, he always had, and thirteen years and a broken promise had changed nothing. The sun and the moon were intertwined in their dance, forever stretching across the centuries, and their friendshipfamilybondlove represented all that and more.

He _loved _him.

* * *

_All I want is a miracle._

* * *

"You know, you're my Christmas miracle," Naruto said, words muffled in the crook of Sasuke's neck. They hadn't left the park—instead, lying on the ground with Naruto on top of Sasuke, breathing in the other's scent. It was comforting. "The only thing I ever wanted."

"This _is _like a miracle," Sasuke mused, eyes bright and reflecting the snow beginning to fall. The former emptiness was a dream now, long gone and never to return.

"Maybe Christmas really can grant wishes." Naruto smiled, kissing Sasuke's neck lightly. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Always have, always will."

* * *

_What do you want?_

* * *

"Say, what did you want for Christmas, anyway?" Naruto propped himself up on his elbows, watching Sasuke.

Sasuke gave a ghost of a smile, reaching up with cold fingers to brush Naruto's cheek. "Maybe this is incredibly cheesy…but all I wanted for Christmas was you."

* * *

_Love, Naruto._

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: **Awwwwww the fluff. And some angst because who doesn't like angst mwahahahaha.

Okay anyway if you didn't get it the italicized, centered lines (like the 'Dear Santa...' and 'Love, Naruto.') were part of a letter Naruto wrote to Santa. I used each line as a sorta theme for the section below it, so if you read all the italicized lines together it should make sense. Probably. Otherwise it's kinda confusing c:

Yay for Christmas fics! I hope you enjoyed this and please leave a review because it's Christmas and they're my presents. :D

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate and happy holidays to those who don't!

~Demon's Requiem

P.S. Funny story I accidentally posted this to my other account. Thank God my friend found out and told me about it... -_-;;


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